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Being Happy (III)

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Somewhere in between…

Somewhere in between, in the garden sprouts and my lover embrace, the quiet peace of dawn highlighting the dew. How perfect, how beautiful, what kind of catharsis I can feel this way! But how tragic ironically I put myself on this kind of imagery. That was just some kind of a human imagination longing for some kind of catharsis, for being purified and for being happy.

Just like I am somewhere in between. I'll not know where to find the happiness, the elusive thing I want to reach. Some say, the happiness is about material, wealth, a thing, visible. Some other describe the happiness is a divine being, absurd, relief. For me it can be all of them, a kind of self-fulfilled, a thing(s) to be achieved.

Happiness, yet is [not] merely a concept. Not a word that is often used to describe the state of being right now.

An old thoughtful wisdom made an analogy; the beginning of happiness was a large crystal ball, which the gods used to play with. One day, while the gods were asleep, happiness fell on Earth and shattered into millions of tiny pieces. People were so fascinated with their beauty that they immediately began collecting them. Some gathered a lot, the others found only a few and no one, however, could collect them all. It's about competing, fighting, to reach something, to fulfill the desire of thing(s) in order to be happy.

So, is the happiness such an unattainable thing—for some people (hard to admit, including me)?? I made myself look at the mirror recent days. My job sucks, my social life sucks, my dreams suck, my body too, well, in that mirror I look, pretty much everything sucks. YA, you can say that I'm kind of ungrateful person, but look at me, it's damn true!

Try to read another two of my blogposts entitled BEING HAPPY, both of them are motivating me to be happy to find the happiness in myself, but why right now is all about complaining life? You can say those were masquerade as happiness that it's sometimes tough to sort out which is real and which is not.

Here, in my lovely pitiful country, people are defined by their status, what they wear, what family they come from, yes, of course they're just skewed perception, but most of people agree with it. And it sucks!

"I look at other people and say, if I had what they have I'd be happy. That successful career woman who made great writer who published many books by the time she's 30, that couple who managed to stay young while being married, that first-time mother doting on her young baby. I'll do anything to be like 'em.

But then I realize much of what happiness is all about is about figuring out what is meaningful in life for me and then achieving that. It is also about the ability to look inward and to reflect and appreciate what I already have actually. Well yeah, I cannot fix something when I do not know why it is broken, and I can't make something without realizing what I already have." I know it tough.


 


 

Now, I'm in the early of 24, I just want to be happy, just wanna find my relief without burdened by how much I achieved in my life, help me… direct me to my relief, to my happiness. Thanks.
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