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Empty


I was motionless but I could feel my body was fallen down into the asphalt, the darkness and the frozen silence. In eternity. I thought I knew what this darkness felt like and the frozen silence tasted like. It was like an end of mine.

I saw there was totally dark everywhere but I was certain that I always kept my eyes on along the Broadway. “Where is everybody? Is there any body here?” were the questions I asked myself repeatedly. Then I deemed it, I was all alone and there was soundless. I was listening but there was no sound.

Out of the blue, I thought I heard and saw something was moving in the dull. Something frightening…

The wings of that monster started to spread out like a sail of a boat. It looked like a dragon with the wings. Its eyes flared up violently like a flash light and I felt an earthquake when it walked its foot near to me.

It was getting near.

The flame was drawn out from its big mouth and its sharp teeth blinded my eyes with its glare. I was so scared; I didn’t even dare to stare it, I hid my eyes with the both of my hands. I did nothing when its wings crashed into the power cable. The crash brought about the magnificent fireworks from the electric cable. The cable was severed and struck down the cars around it.

The eyes of the monster looked intently at me. An enormous fear made me scream but no voices out. And I couldn’t do something. I felt pain in my breast, crawling into my arms and moving on my legs. It put together a throbbing heart of mine.

And my heart…

I guessed my heart would blow up in a second, my eyes jumped out, and my brain got out of my opened mouth that was screaming when I opened my eyes and saw the features of the dragon changing into my father’s countenance.

He’s getting nearer then I could smell an alcohol from his mouth. And he’s staring at me in an angry face and ready to confront me.

Well I knew it would be the end of my life. But wait! I didn’t realize that I held a knife in my hand, why wouldn’t I use it?

All of a sudden, the frost covered my whole body when I tried to plunge the knife into his eyes. But I touched my body was frozen like a slab of ice.

In a few moments later, the frozen ice of mine disappeared. I awakened by a warm wave flowing through over my body. The darkness had already changed into the sunlight that came through the window’s gap, when you opened it.

“Sam, c’mon, get up! The school bell won’t wait!” said you.

“I hate school, Mom.” I murmured.

“But you have to, honey,” your voice calmed me down. You was sitting in the bed side now and starting to lay drawn my blanket.

“Is it hurt Mom?” asked I.

“No, just get up and take a bath now!”

I knew it was hurt you Mom. I knew how terrible he broke your heart into pieces. Why won’t you set yourself free from him, Mom? If I could do something for you it would be an honour for me.

“Sam, have you finished your bath!?” you yelled at me while I was washing my entire bad dream on my head.

“In a minute Mom!”

As soon as I got out of the bathroom with a strange spotless mind, you’re still at my bedroom, standing with a disappointed and depressed glance into mine.

Damn! I forgot that thing, the one now you held in your hand.

“Will you tell me what it is for?” You started say angrily.

You must find it under my pillow—the thing I used to kill the monster of my dream.

“Your husband should have been died this morning Mom.” I straightly answered your question, I tried hardly to be that calm.

I had the nerve to saw your face; it had become a deathly pale.

“Sam, what are you talking about? He is your father.” You threw the knife and shaking my body hardly.

“No, he’s not!” I shouted you at the face.

“Look at you Mom! You are so miserable. Are you just fine in the situation like this? There you are. You are not anymore the woman I used to know!” added I showing you a mirror so that you could see how awful you were. Then there were tears finally bathing your cheek and you left me alone in a silence.

***

The sun that was shining brightly in June that made me felt a warm breeze in my shoulders. It was very contrast with the gloomy heart I had. It made me feel so hard to forget the bad thing came about me last night. Those hours of darkness all the hatred of mine being a huge mountain, I was losing control. Because of him all of the pain of mine started.

The thing happened again on the next day, I was just about a minute arriving at home, wishing to show you the paper of my biology and English which had a very good score from school. Bella and Tom were sitting outside looked so sad.

“What happened? Where is Mom?” I asked them.

Bella—Tom’s twin sister—ran to me and crying in my embrace. “He’s drunk anymore. He slapped Mom and rammed Mom’s head against the wall twice and it’s currently bleeding. Sam, I’m so scared.”

“He also broke my pig and took away all of my money!” witnessed Tom.

I heard the crash, boom and bang inside home, I knew you were fighting anymore. But when I came inside, he passed me through with the hand full of money, I was sure that were Tom’s.

It made me stood as a mannequin does nothing to do but watching the tears of yours. I squeezed the paper of my good score that now became a ball of paper and I threw it all away. I walked inside my bedroom and locked the door. There I sat, next the window watching the bustard leaving home and probably back in the middle of the night or probably not.

There I closed my eyes and started to think why there was too much pain and sorrow occurred to this family. It was all because of him. But what if…

I wished he died

The empty feeling was dancing in my head…

I tried to open my eyes, felt that the angriness of mine no longer in control. For all the things he had done to me, to you, Bella, and Tommy now he had to die.

In the middle of that night I got up and soon my foot led me to the kitchen looking for a knife that surely had been hid somewhere by you. I would use it to kill him when everybody was drowning in their dream.

It would be easy to kill him when he was drunk and slept in the couch. There was no knife I found. Maybe you had vanished all of it before something happened to him.

A desire to kill him was being an ambition of mine. If I didn’t kill him quickly, you and all my sisters would feel more pain in your life and I couldn’t let it in.

I sat at the chair on the kitchen, I was worried if couldn’t find that knife. I felt a burning hatred on my head. A whispering voice of the devil insisted me to do that but it was soon broken by a sound of a crying. A crying of a woman was heard vaguely. I was sure that there were you who cried in the middle of a silence.

What had he done to you? I was convinced there was something bad happened to you. I moved towards you at your room. But…

I was shocked with the thing that I saw.

There on the floor sat you with the hands full of blood and the knife in front of you. The death corpse of my father was lying next to you with a red fluid flow from it. The monster of my nightmare was gone and there would be no more flame drawn out from its big mouth that spread out the wretched of my life.

“I kill him, Sam. I’m a murderer. Forgive me…” you said with the tears bathed your cheeks. Suddenly I felt weak. I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there like a stone.

I built up all the nerve into mine and took the knife on the floor. I dragged myself into the telephone in the corner of the room.

“I’ve killed my father…” said I in the end of the call.

***

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